It is never an easy decision to lie.
I recently did something both strange and empowering. I got a medical Marijuana card. I did not do this for myself - I got it for my mom to see if marijuana, or marijuana related items (other wise known as edibles) could help her with pain relief.
I walked into Dr. Sona Patel's office on a Saturday afternoon. If you don't know who she is, she is that exotic and beautiful doctor on billboards around the city who has over "3 years experience" with medical marijuana. She is an MD.
Her office is located next to a laundry mat on Melrose. The walls are covered in 70's victorian felt wall paper - part brothel, part bail bondsman. You walk up, sign in, and fill out a fairly simple form with the reason why you need a card. I wrote "chronic pancreatitis" and wrote down the pain medication which my mother takes.
My internal dialogue was entertaining me: do I just say the card is for me? I am a horrible liar and they'll know something is up! I am getting the card for true medical reasons - they are just not mine. Don't be a dummy, Leslie, just lie!
As I was wrestling with my decision, I got thirsty. There was a soda machine with an "out of order" sign on it. The woman behind the counter went up, dropped in her change and I heard the tumbling can hit the slot. I went up and said "So the soda machine works?" "Well, It's a take your chances type machine."
In that moment, I knew that is was ok to lie. If I was in a "take your chances" type of place, then they were going to have to take their chances on me telling the truth. I got myself a soda, and was called back to the institutional cubicles. It felt like I was going to take a test at the DMV.
My doctor was not exotic and beautiful, but he did wear a white lab coat. "Do you use marijuana currently?" "No." He seemed a bit puzzled. "And you have chronic pancreatitis?" I suddenly panicked and sensed things weren't adding up to him. "Well, you see, it's for my mom…and…I'm her caregiver…and…" the truth just tumbled out of my mouth like that soda can!
"Oh, I see. Let me go see what I can do."
He was gone for a few minutes and when he came back he said "We're just going to give the card to you. Thanks for coming in." I walked away like I had just hit the Staples Button. "That was easy"
As I headed out the door, I noticed Dr. Sona's Patel's Motto: "I am a person first, a scientist second and a friend always and I believe in your right to choose your medication." I had just been given a choice and was going to make the best of it. This seemed more profound than the soda machine epiphany and I took it - I'll get my inspiration anywhere I can.
And now, many months and several healing lollipops later, I am a true believer.
Next Up: Part 2 - Lollipop, Lollipop (or: I've always wanted to be part of a collective)
